So I already told you guys in my last blog that there was a new arrival at Falconcrest. We thought her name would be Laika, but today we decided otherwise

Laika is a very common name at the park just like Freija & Tanja. So we wanted something else for this beautiful Lanner Falcon. It has to be a beautiful name and it has to be a name everybody can remeber. And also it has to be easy to call. So today we putted our tinking caps on.. Not very long after that we remembered a niece of Samy, the grandson of Frans. Her name is Layla. It is a beautiful name, it is easy to call & remember (because is looks like Laika ). Frans started singing songs witch contain the name Layla so he was sold.

From now on the Lanner Falcon is called Layla

So this was a good day
I was very early today because I have to pick up some papers for my bank account. It was kinda important so I can transfer money again

Normally I start a workingday around 10 o'clock, but today I started it at 9.30-9.45 :' Well It isn't that much early, but oke..
I started by reading the map. I wasn't there for four days so I already guessed I missed a lot
And yes, I missed dietinformatian, information about their performance but also about the new falcon

Ofcourse I saw the message on the Friends of Falconcrest Facebook of her arrival, but it's also nice to read about the way she is and how to handle her and stuff. There wasn't much information about is, except for her beauty, because she is really calm and easy going so no special way of treating her That's great! I was looking forward to meet her and hold her later this day because I have to prepare te food first.

After an hour or someting like that, I finished preparing the food and I went in for a snack myself. Afterwarts I walked by the birds to say "Hello!" and ofcourse, training Wotan our young Ferruginous Hawk First I went to see Kiran because he missed me a lot! He jumped onto my arm and was so hyperactive he almost forget to breath and fell of my arm But hey, he is not that stupid When I wanted to say "Hi!" to the other birds, He didn't want me to go.. He became so angry because I was leaving already, it made me melt I called him very enthousiastic a few times and he turned from angry into hyperactive Tawny Owl real quick and everything was oke again

The rest of the morning and afternoon I helped Frans packing his gloves. There were a lot of them, so it took a while before I finished it all. It was around 15.30 and I really wanted to fly some birds before I go home because I missed them! I flew Skay, Ninja, Caitlynn, Yoshi, Kiran, Kayley, Elmo, Odin & Yulia Ninja & Skay did awesome! Caitlynn wasn't to eager to fly so I took her in early. That was really strange because the day before she was really spirited and Frans couldn't turn his back or she was already there... So I have to face something what I tried to ignore for a few weeks now... I have to face that right now, Caitlynn doesn't want to be flown by me. Normal we ignore that and just fly them untill this behaviour goes away, but that didn't do the trick with her Tomorrow I will ask is a colleague of mine will fly her and is she reacts good on her, I have to make the decision to give her away in the arms of my wonderfull colleagues. Everytime one of them flies her, she does really well. When Frans flies her, she is really spirited. This behaviour is part of her imprint behaviour. Sometimes a bird of prey will really hang on to one person and in the beginning that person was me with Cait. But the bird can also turn away from you even though it really trusted you in the beginnen. You have a few options when this happens in my eyes:

1. Give her away (for good) - NO FACKING WAY!!
2. Put her away for a while (not flying or attention) - There is no room for that so that's a no go..
3. Bring her back home (she reacts good at me then) - No can do.. I don't have a backyard so...
4. Just let her sit on the place she is now - Nope... When se sits there, she is able to fly.. So let's keep it that way
5. Give her away (temporarily) to your colleagues - The only option if you ask me. It's not fun for me, but it isn't about me, it's about my bird

So.. I'm going to try if it's oke to fly her only once a week but if that make things only worse then they already are...
I love her and care so much for her! I want the best for her and if that is not flying with me temporarily so this will go away.. I will do that!

And now the Owls!!!!
Kayley & Kiran the Tawny Owls did great! They flew great distances and I didn't have to call more dan twice
Yulia & Elmo the Snowy Owls dis super! They also flew great distances and they both learned how to fly to the eagletree Yulia landed on it instead of underneath it And Elmo showed that he also has someting of his big sister Roos in him! When he sat on the pole and needed to go the eagltree, he already started to fly when I was halfway to it with the food! It was so great!
And Yoshi th Barn Owl did awesome! he flew a really really big distance: from the high tree tot the eagletree After that he decided it was time to annoi the Bald Eagles. He flew on their cages, making himself really big and sissing, clappering with his beak and doing that strange tonguemovement Barn Owls do The Bald Eagles where afraid... Really, that is no joke! So Yoshi & I had the time of our lives

After that I sat down with the new falcon to feed her on my hand. I filled in the map and talked to Frans about the birds. He decided to call the new falcon (who is by the way a Lanner Falcon) Laika A beautiful name for a beautiful bird!
When I put Laika away, I saw a lot of feathers near Wotan... So after some research, I found out it was from a pidgeon. He grapped a pidgeon There were a bunch of feathers there but Wotan was really hungry and he didn't have a full crop so i decided to give a little more. This time a whole chicklet and that was a good move! He sat on my hand for 3-4 seconds to eat before jumping of

So that's about it for today See you again soon!
 

Sometimes I can't help myself and one thought is leading no another. Then everything seems to burst, you prepare, and then is doesn't burst When something like that happens, everything seems to go wrong and everything is annoing me. Traffic, behaviour of my belove cats, Stef being nice to me and ofcourse me, myself & I...

This cicle started yesterday. I won't tell the whole story but the most important part. In a way I heard that I might recognize myself in HPS (High Sensitve Person) and there were a few symptoms mentioned and most of them, I could relate to. I was already a bit familiar with it because a friend of mine was "diagnosed" with this character trait (I don't know how you exactly pronounce it in English but this comes close right?) last year. The most symptoms she has, I didn't recognize myself in so I didn't even think about the fact that I was an HSP also.

So I looked up a lot of information about it and run a test online. It says that I'm quite sensitive. Now I know those internet tests don't say anything so I was planning on going to an alternate therapist who could help me more with this. I talked with a friend about this and she told me that she already knew I was an HSP. She is one herself and recognized a lot in me. So every piece of the puzzle was falling into one piece. Everything was making sence. And there I go... And endless wave of thoughts about everything and it was starting to overflow. So I went for a walk with Stef, the dog and Yoshi. I could not stop talking and could not stop walking. It took a while before I calmed down so we could turn back home. Back home we lay down in the yard and just do nothing but listening to Yoshi making noice, traffic and the sounds of our own breaths.

This morning I woke up and was feeling like crap. I felt extremely down, I was very nauseous, feeling scared, confused and nervous and to finish it all, I was realy tired! After throwing up, I decided to stay at home to rest some and think about things without losing it again. Well I rested because I practically slept all morning. I had nightmares last night so I was kind off scared to go to sleep but now I had just a stupid meaningless dream about Stef bringin home a beautifull fish for our fish we already had because is was lonely.. Right... So I actually slept without waking up tired of having very active dreams/nightmares.

I'm still figuring out about what HSP means to me and what I can do to make it easier for me. I already made agreements with Stef about certain thing what could help us in our relationship. I also decided to talk to him everytime when I am having one of my "episodes" so I can calm down a lot faster. I also decided I have to learn to trust other people with my issues without thinking they think I'm crazy or overreacting. That won't be an easy task for me, but it is necessary for when I need someone and Stef is not around because those "episodes" are killing me and driving me crazy.

For now HSP means this for me:

• I notice a lot of details when I visit someone or something
• Handeling animals is a lot easier for me then handeling human beings.
• I can't be in crowded situations
• I got over stimulated a lot
• Most of the time I'm scared
• Scared of people in general
• Scared to go to new places
• Scared to meet new people
• When I'm busy with something, I can't answer to questions most of the time because I have trouble concentrating and I have to start all over again.
• I'm a perfectionist
• I feel the judgement of people all the time even when they are not judging me
• I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.
• I don't like big changes
• I feel misunderstood a lot
• I am bothered by intense stimuli, like loud noises or chaotic scenes.
• I'm creative
• I like to watch detectives so I can help solving things.
• I do not like tv shows and films with violence in it like in action movies
• I feel very uncomfortable when feeling things are getting out of your control.
• I experience mood swings, sometimes occurring almost instantly and can also be affected by other people's moods, emotions and problems.
• I can become stressed out and upset when overwhelmed and may find it necessary to get away
• I can get concerned and think or worry about many things, and have also been told "you take things too personally."
• I have had the experience of "cutting people out" of your life
• I often have nightmares and very active dreams of recent events
• I talk to myself in another person often so I can give myself advice and relief a bit
• I have trouble falling into sleep almost every night
• When something changes is my living space, I might not feel safe anymore untill It's gone or changed back
• At the end of the day, even if it is a slow day to others, I feel tired.

So... This is a start of the list I know I forgot some but whatever. They say it's a gift to have this trait. But I don't see it yet because it is causing me more trouble then beauty. But I try to be optimistic and think it might me beautifull when I learn to live with this trait so it won't bother me that much anymore.
Hope everyone understands this, I don't know if anybody is reading my blogs anyway...